I've been part of an email thread at Monitor Talent about "Personal Brand Assistants," a term I never heard of until today. Think folks who might help you manage your online presence. At first I thought, "How absurd." But this was a serious thread that demanded a serious response.
So I decided to write a job description. Which I posted on Craig's list. It was flagged and removed as fast as you can say, "Whoa, that's not in our terms of service."
I can't believe Craig is killing new job opportunities at this moment in history. (And I'm not even gonna make the cheap Craig's List joke that comes to mind...) So for an economy that sorely needs new jobs, here is the newest of all:
Can you help make this brand fabulous?
Wanted: someone with the unique talents and drive to help build one of the most important brands of all, me. The brief: in order to be me, to do a really good job of being me, I need to twit, blog, respond, post pictures and engage with the market 27 hours a day. You see the problem. In the age of television being me was a relatively mindless thing to do. No longer. And that's where you come in. Now that I realize that I'm a brand, the matter of brand development, Search Engine Optimization, beating the competition, and looming large in the loomisphere has become of utmost importance. As a Personal Brand Assistant you'll be a key contributor to the team that is the digital me. You'll report on parties and post embarrassing photos. Respond to events in technology and media in real time while minting status updates in Facebook. You'll make my twitter followers feel special, because they are special. You'll help insure that my 2,100 facebook friends have a friend. One that cares. Listens. Is authentic.
And because authenticity is so important in this era of social media, you'll receive ongoing training on the finer points of being me. Training that will serve you well for the rest of your life, even offline. Whatever that is.
You'll work in programming, content development and partnerships helping to insure that I not only don't forget to eat breakfast, but that I remain relevant to today's audiences and delight sponsors. Over time, you'll drive strategy monitoring the blogosphere 24/7, refreshing and refining the brand to meet the changing tastes and requirements of my followers.
Is this necessary you ask? As necessary as the air we breathe. Vital for our species development. A couple million years ago humans didn't even exist. All we had was Homo Erectus. He walked, but didn't friend. A half million years ago humans were born: Homo Sapien, man the wise. Just like your parents. Today we, you, I are beyond that. Today we are all individual brands, connected, in need of brand management and ongoing global engagement. Homo Brandus, man the brand. Only we're evolving so quickly we can't quite do it alone. Which is why I look forward to interviewing you as my personal brand assistant.